NZ History- My Version

 

Around 700 years ago a fleet of Taiwanese fishermen operating in the Eastern Pacific can across a group of Islanders in very inappropriate boats suitable for inshore fishing and transport only.

The Taiwanese were the only people working the open seas of the Pacific at the time.

Upon investigation they found that these people were a separate race being driven out of the central Pacific because they were dishonest stone-age cannibals who refused to act civilly.

The Taiwanese knew of a land to the south that was pretty much useless, having no real value for food (no large mammals or herd animals and very little fruit) and too far away from home for anything else. A bloody awful climate made that land even worse.

The Taiwanese dumped the refugees there knowing no one with any sense would stumble upon them.

The Taiwanese were almost correct but they reasoned without the knowledge that the Western Europeans would become desperate for oil and start searching the globe.

The best sort of oil in large quantities at the time was in whales and seals with both animals providing other useful byproducts such as skins, fur, bones etc.

Those Europeans eventually discovered the islands with the stone-age cannibals, surprisingly still alive – but not thriving. They had stripped the islands of any large wildlife and survived by making use of any sea creature washed ashore dead and eating each other.

The first thing the Europeans found was the cannibals were particularly nasty and, once they realised the Europeans were as nasty, also that the "natives" were natural born thieves, basically pocketing anything that could be moved. (see contemporary reports) and grossly dishonest.

But they were small in number and breeding-age women were obliging.

Maori (for that was what they were) will tell you that maori recognised the need for new bloodlines and the breeding with whalers, sealers and, latterly, flax-traders was deliberate policy ..... and I believe every single word.

Eventually maori became white men in all but attitude. They remained thieves and cannibals up until a time when Europeans, often originally coming from the USA via Australia but more frequently from Europe, started settling in numbers.

The British, who had claimed the North Island, offered the white/maori the chance to become citizens of England but only if they gave up slavery cannibalism etc. Maori have never been known for their smarts but this offer was too good to turn down so the boss of the Englishmen wrote a document stating that was the case.

 

It should be noted that the English claimed the South Island only after noting the French taking an interest in late 1840.

Being stone-age and without even pictorial records being left on rock walls that document was translated into a newly invented written language pretending to be maori. This enabled the Europeans to describe the document to maori representatives – most (if not all) of whom couldn’t read the marks on the paper.

Maori and maori/whites were then asked to mark (very few could sign their own name) the document, signifying they had heard what it said. Most did.

Cannibalism and slavery ground to a halt and inter-tribal warfare was slowed because the main purpose (taking of slaves and food) was no longer a factor.

 

The people coming in introduced mammals, agriculture, horticulture and, basically, culture.

It must be noted that dishonesty and thievery unfortunately has just got more mature. Petty thieves are now outnumbered by those trying to steal millions.

 

With the help of a few useful idiots (and idiots in every sense they certainly are) they are attempting to change the name of New Zealand (invented by white men from Europe) to another name - also invented by white men from Europe.

 

Such is New Zealand today